The Holiday Season Round Robin: ------------------------------- Written by the author of Ranma Gets A Clue and his Pre-Readers. ------------------------------- Preface - This story was written over a period of about three months. I started it then passed it on to another writer, who would write and send it back to me, I in turn would edit the story and send the now larger version on to someone else add naseum. The entire purpose of this story was to be fun and to be an outlet for whatever we were feeling during the holiday season. It was started before Halloween and is being published Christmas day. There will be all sorts of nifty little errors in grammar and punctuation in this story. The story line WILL NOT MAKE A LOT OF SENSE. This story is supposed to be read with an open mind and a firm grip on reality. We do not take responsibility should you lose your mind as a result of reading this story. That being said enjoy! ________________________________________________________ The wind whipped down from the mountains. It passed frozen ponds and barren trees. With icy drive it sliced down into the valley. Little tufts of snow drifts scattered as the wind hurled by. The inky black sky shrouded everything in a miserable darkness, with the waning crescent moon looking down apathetically. In the distance a dog's mournful wail carried over the frozen valley. From the edge of the forest came the soft plodding sound of footsteps. These footsteps did not sound hesitant, these were steady non-stopping strides. As he walked, the man cocked his head slightly, as if listening to the wind which shrieked and tore at the cloak which he held tightly around him against the biting cold. A cloth enshrouded package rested lightly on his shoulder. The heavy wrapping hid all save a general outline of the object, but it was about the right length for a staff, or a sword. His footsteps showed black against the snow in the shadowy darkness, and a rabbit, startled by the soft, crunching sound of his feet as they sloughed through the packed snow, darted free from its hiding place beneath the dead, ice-encased branches of a small bush. It was a barely discernible blur of motion, white fur on white snow. The man stopped, warm yellow lights were visible in the distance. A window. It displayed movement, figures, like a shadow puppet show. For a moment, he stood as if frozen, the wind tore his cloak from his fingers, sending it flapping wildly against his thin figure. It lasted only an instant, then he was running, impossibly fast. His feet barely marred the snow where they touched it. With one smooth leap, he was on a branch directly over the window. If anyone had glanced outside they would have seen the light shower of snow which fell from the disturbed branch. No-one did. He could feel the warmth emanating from the window and the faint murmur of voices. It was upon the voices which he focused his attention. Their warmth called to him, reminding him of better times, yet also reminding him what he had left. He wished that he could join them, but he had given that right away, so long ago, or so it felt. He heard one voice, dear to his heart murmur... and he wondered, was she still as beautiful as he remembered? No, her voice had grown more mature, more womanly since then. She must be even more beautiful now, he thought wistfully. He missed seeing the change in her, but he knew better than to wish for it to be different, choices were made, prices had to be paid, in honor's sake. He was rootless, homeless, nameless. Lower than ronin, lower than even the eta, for his action, while at the time, the right ones, cost him all. This day, was a reminder of that... While everyone was with family, he had none, While everyone was giving and receiving gifts, he would receive none, nor give any, for those that he would give would be rejected. Some would reject them out of hate, and scorn, others because honor demanded that they do so. Would SHE, even now he would not defile her name by letting it pass though his gifts, be in the latter? Or, would she, like so many of the others that professed love or friendship for him, reject it out of hate. Did she even think of him, ether way? Best be on my way, thought the traveler, but first, a gift. He left a item from his pouch, with only a name on it. A name he dared not say least he damage it by speaking. As he left the gift on the doorstep, and faded back into the night and icy wind, a window opened, and out looked a woman. She caught a brief glimpse of the man as he faded away. The glimpse brought images and emotions thought long forgotten to her heart and mind as she stared out into the night. Why had HE come back, she thought. Why did he come and bring back all of those memories? She had thought that she had been cleansed of those feelings, those memories. But there they were, all jumbled up inside her, just like they were the day that he left. She went to the door, and opened it. Looking out upon the snowy landscape, she searched for another glimpse of the retreating figure. Sighing, she looked down, and noticed the small package on the step. The man watched from the bushes as she caught sight of the package below. How it made him happy to know that she had noticed the present and was opening it. As he waited for the look on her face the moment she opened the present a sharp noise came from behind him, a dog perhaps. Moving quickly he moved out of sight of the noisy dog and fled down the street. The wind was heavy and he though he could almost hear something, a name...Jeremy. "Jeremy" A child stood standing while a dog leaned against her legs waiting for her to scratch behind his ears. How could it be that he was here again? Her older sister had known him and she barely recognized him, but she knew who it was. Her sister had talked about him for a while after he left, but she had thought that he had been gone for good the day her sister had stopped talking about him. Yet here he was again, but why? "Susan!" Snapping back into reality she turned to her sister at the door and could tell by the look in her eye that she had seen him too. Running up to her sister a puzzled look in her face she silently asked why he had come back noticing the gift in her hand and the open box in the other she understood joining her sister she entered the house. The subject of Jeremy would be spoken at another time. Susan sat thinking of Jeremy and her older sister went back into the kitchen to start baking Halloween treats for the neighborhood kids coming to the party tonight. The porch was awash with the flickering fickle light coming from the small candles aflame in their Jack-O- Lanterns. The neighborhood rang with the chime of the laughter of excited children. The fireplace was roaring and Susan was content. She got up and grabbed a comforter from the closet and curled up on the floor beside the fire day dreaming. "Child I have come for you." Came an eerie, not of this world voice. A voice that almost sounded . . . dead? Dreamily Susan looked up, into the face of death. "Hi there. You look a little over dressed for a costume party buddy, hey how did you get in here anyway?" The grim reaper stood in his all concealing black robes, his features those of death itself. He looked neither happy nor sad, just . . . there. Susan got up angrily. "Look you, why don't you go home and come back in a hour when the party is supposed to start I . . ." She trailed off as death advanced on her. He offered no explanation, no reason, no compassion or solace. This was death after all. Realization and terror gripped Susan just before he lay his bony hand on her head, then she slumped to the ground like her bones had dissolved. They very well might have for that matter. Death strode with the rasping sound of someone walking over dead leaves into the kitchen area. A clang and the sound of a body falling can be heard. No screams, no melodramatics. Just death. Death walked, well floated, well we don't really know how death gets around. . . back into the living room. Time you see, is a construct of the pitiful human mind. Humans created the notion of time to help them cope with their perception of events. As human perception sees things, cause and effect is a fact and time is sequential. In the realm of existence wherein death resided, time had no meaning. Time existed all at once and not at all. It was both the past and the future. The timeline was not a line at all, but more of a scattered plot of random events and decisions. Therefore death had all the time in the world, relatively speaking. Death had a lot of people to kill today, the human idiots had finally done it, someone had pushed the button, and that had set it off, well actually that maniac Sudam Hussain had pushed the button, so it wasn't really all of humanities fault, just the greasiest piece of it. And now it had come to pass . . . global nuclear warfare. All the missiles from all the countries were on their way to their respective targets. In actuality he had taken these two girls mere hundredths of micro seconds before their actual deaths as humans would see things, because the missile about to wipe out this part of the world still had 1/4 of a second to impact. But time didn't work the same for death. . . or those in it's presence, so things seemed to take longer than they really did. If you could measure time, which you can't. 'Maybe a few Eskimos could be spared, but not a lot of people are going to survive this decision. Such is life and death.' Death lamented. Death sighed as he prepared to go to his next destination. . . this was going to be a very long day. "It's probably better this way anyway, I really wasn't looking forward to taking people after being killed by some of the things they would have created in the coming centuries. Some of those things would have been able to destroy their very souls, destroyed souls didn't die, they ceased to exist." Death would have no power over that, and he had not liked the idea of it. As death faded out of sight a brilliant terrible light flashed over the sky. [click click click click click click click click click] ::Scene fades to a smallish middle class suburb bedroom. The room is painted black and almost overrun by a huge 'U' shaped desk crammed up against the wall by the window. Due to the color of the walls, there are an abnormal number of light sources in this room. Five to be exact. We see Asayogure typing away at the keyboard situated on the slide out keyboard tray in front of his pitiful 17 inch monitor. Some unintelligible Anime track is playing in the CD player and he is muttering to himself.:: "No I really don't think killing all of mankind off in the beginning of the story will work. Well I guess I can continue the story in the after life, but that would be pushing it, and I am sure I would get complaints from religious fanatics." [Susan and company are still dead but now the catastrophe has been changed to a town riot, due to the overthrow of the evil dictator...] "Gah, that's terrible, overthrow a dictator?!?! What is this the 50's?" [delete key is pressed multiple times] [Susan and company are still dead but now the catastrophe has been changed to . . .] "To what? Oh hell I'll come back to that later. Maybe I should do a zombie bit or have a character read a book on the history of some aspect of Halloween so I can impress my readers with a display of how knowledgeable I am . . . Nah, I am not THAT pretentious." "Okay so Halloween is today huh? We got spooky background descriptions? Wind, snow, howling of some sort or another? Check. We got at least one semi-main character and some minor bit players? Check. We got some Halloween decorations IE Jack-O-Lanterns and a fire etcetera? Checkerooney. Yes I typed checkerooney, I dunno why I just did. Live with it." "So what the heck should I do with this Halloween story? I hate Halloween anyway. I do not like to be frightened. My response to fear is violence. I once decked someone on a cold dark night because they snuck up on me and my imagination was running away from me and they grabbed my shoulder and hollered BOO! As I was having my heart attack I spun and clocked him dead in the mouth. I HATE being scared! Feeling like I'm gonna die is NOT my idea of a good time. I hate horror movies and seeing yucky gory stuff. So I am not going to write about it. So... lets do a scene change ^_^" [That decided Asayogure went back to typing, and decided to do a minor self insert.] "Hi there! This is not a SI in the traditional sense, because I am not interacting with any characters in any ANIME world, but you are getting the inside scoop as to what goes on in my demented mind when I am writing. Hang on a minute I am going to turn up the volume on my CD player and get this room full of some funky Ranma tunes, it is 1AM on Halloween night and I am writing spooky stuff, I gotta keep my sanity after all. As it were." "I WOULD interact with some ANIME characters, but so far of the none of the co-authors I am doing this with have flipped out and killed anyone or introduced any well known ANIME characters. So I am going to speed the process up a little with a little wanton violence and general insanity." {Ranma pops into scene with Akane in tow.} Ranma: Hey script format neato, all you ever write in is prose. This will be much easier for me to do. [Akane rolls eyes] Akane: You know you are an idiot right? [normal R&A fight starts as Asayogure brings more people into the picture to make things interesting] {Washu pops into the scene trailing a confused Mihoshi and Tenchi} Washu: Ah, so NOW the great writer has time for the Tenchi Universe? Now! you have time to write about little Washu and all of my cohorts? Well maybe I don't wanna be in your little story, hows about that? Hmm....? [Asayogure types and bit and a steel clamp fastens onto Washu's mouth. Her eyes bug out and he grins.] Tenchi: Um . . . okay I give up where the hell am I? I am pretty sure I have never done drugs and I made dinner myself tonight, so I know nothin was spiked . . . Asayogure: I brought you here to slap around, your wimpy passive aggressive character has always irritated me. At least pick a woman, be a man! [Asayogure proceeds to beat on Tenchi. Tenchi calls the wings of the light hawk and Asayogure clamps them shut and beats Tenchi with them] Tenchi: [panting] H-How, did you do that? No one can defeat the Wings! Asayogure: Simple, I am writing this, not you . . . therefore I win. [Asayogure grins evil like] Mihoshi: How CUTE! I have always wanted one of these! [Mihoshi stares fixedly at one of the watercolor pictures Asayogure has on the wall . . . a gift from one of his students.] Mihoshi: How did you do this?! [Asayogure sighs and types a bit] [Mihoshi straightens and as she does her eyes clarify to a terrifying degree.] Mihoshi: Wow, so this is what not being a ditz feels like. I can't decide if I should become evil and use this new intellect of mine to wreak royal havoc on the universe, or if I should use this to climb my way to the top of the Galaxy Police . . . Hmm. [Asayogure sweatdrops and hurriedly presses the delete key] Asayogure: Wow, a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing, a LOT of knowledge is a frightening thing. No super intelligence for her. {Belldandy and Urd pop into scene} Asayogure: You guys already have super powers as it were, so I will give you author powers, you may sit at my keyboard here and hold sway over life and death over anything you create here. One rule though, no reincarnating the previous story line, I was about to die reading that . . . that was scary stuff. Enjoy. [Asayogure gets up to raid the fridge and get a soda evil gleams come into the Goddesses' eyes.] Now, one may wonder why GODDESSES would have evil gleams in their eyes. Well, the answer is rather simple. Belldandy, the kindly, pure, and innocent (er, naive) goddess, was reflecting in her eyes the gleam that her sister was producing. Urd was producing an evil gleam because, well, she was half-demon, and so sometimes had a few evil thoughts. Before those evil thoughts could be realized, however, Belldandy sat down and started typing. * * * * * Once upon a time, a happy bunny was bouncing along, wandering through the forest. "Hello, forest," the bunny said. "Hello, trees. Hello, squirrels. Hello, fox. Are you going to try and hunt me today?" "No," said the fox, resting in the shade. "It's too hot today. Maybe tomorrow." "Very well then," the bunny said. "I'll see you tomorrow." With that, the bunny started hopping away, still very happy. The fox, too, was happy - the bunny trusted that he would keep his word. The fox would let the bunny be for the day- maybe it would even make friends with it, if it ever tired of the hunt. The bunny went on its way, and went home for the day, finally collapsing to rest its weary eyes. "Goodnight, everyone," the bunny said, falling asleep. The end. * * * * * "Um, sis," Urd said, reading over Belldandy's shoulder. "This is... er...well, I can certainly see why you were never made the goddess of literature." Belldandy looked distressed. "Oh, my! What's wrong with it?" "Well, first of all, this is just as disturbing as the story Asayogure was telling us to not restore, only to the opposite extreme." "Oh, dear." "Furthermore, there's no set-up, no plot, no conflict... in short, it's not even a story. Just a... I dunno, a scene?" "Oh, my... I guess I need a lot of work before I can become a writer. Do you think you could write something?" Urd smiled, and that evil glint returned to her eyes. "Oh, I'm pretty sure I can. Move over, sis, and let ME write." Belldandy stood up and let Urd take the chair. 'Hmm,' Urd thought. 'I want to show Bell how nice things could be if she and Keiichi would stop pussyfooting around, but I don't want her to realize what I'm doing right away. What if I were to write a fanfic where ANOTHER couple which just doesn't know what it's missing finds out? Let's see... Ranma would be a good choice. But how to start it? I don't want to move TOO quickly, so let's start out rather tamely. Tame... hmm, like a pet. Well, there's an idea... she's not human, so it wouldn't affect Ranma and Akane's relationship in too negative a way...' * * * * * "Papa-san?" Nuku Nuku asked as they were almost there. "Why did we get transferred into this high school?" "Well, the one I used to work in didn't take to kindly to my accidentally taking one of my fights with Akiko into the school building and wrecking it. I transferred you because I figured you'd want to go with me." "Oh," Nuku Nuku said. "What's the name of this school again?" "Furinkan High School." Kyasaku pointed to the sign on the wall as they walked through the gates. "I understand they take even those who wreck school buildings there." "What about Ryuunosuke, though? Where is he going to go?" "Oh, he's still going to the same elementary school. I don't want to uproot him every time he starts to settle down, you know. Head on to class or you'll be late." With that, Kyasaku waved and ran into the building. Nuku Nuku paused to let this information sink in. The cybernetic enhancements to her brain could process the data really quickly, but the cat in her slowed the process slightly. For the first time, she wouldn't have her Papa-san as her homeroom teacher. Instead, it was someone by the name of 'Hinako.' Oh, well... maybe she'd make some new friends. That decided, she stepped into the class, and waited in the front like she'd been told. The teacher was about Ryuunosuke's age, but that didn't phase Nuku Nuku- she still hadn't quite figured out how to tell the difference between human's ages yet. "Class," Ms. Hinako announced. "We've got a new student today. Ms. Atsuko Natsume, who just transferred in today." Nuku Nuku waved. "Hello, everybody! You can just call me Nuku Nuku- everybody else does." Most of the boys in the class were showing their usual attention to any girl- ogling her up and down. One, however, sat back, an odd expression on his face. "Ms. Natsume, take the seat in front of Ranma, back there," Hinako gestured. Ranma, it should be noted, was one of the premiere martial artists of his generation. As part of his training, he learned how to read a person without even paying attention to them. Usually, he ignored this ability of his- his usual five senses allowed him to react faster and more accurately to danger than this sixth sense- but it DID allow him to survive night time attacks by stupid panda-fathers wanting him to train and berserker-raging lost boys. Just because he ignored this sense, however, did not mean that it wasn't feeding him information. As Nuku Nuku approached, this sixth sense started sending him warning signals. At first, he just ignored them- just like he did when he was arguing with Akane and she was thinking about finding something like a mallet and smacking him over the head with it. However, due to the nature of this warning, it eventually reached him, and he reacted fiercely. "C-c-caaat!" He cried, jumping out of his chair into the corner of the room, staring around wildly trying to find the animal. * * * * * Belldandy looked at Urd. "Oh, my- you made it so that the cat in Nuku Nuku was enough to trigger Ranma's fear? That's not nice!" Urd looked at her sister in frustration. "Sis, remember what I said about a story needing a conflict?" "Well, yes... but couldn't you have it be something that poor Ranma didn't feel so strongly about?" Urd rolled her eyes. "Sis, when it comes to literature like this, you CAN'T make everyone happy all of the time. I promise everyone will have a happy ending, okay?" "Oh, okay. As you said, I'm not that good at this sort of thing... I guess you know best." Urd smiled. "Of course I do. Now, let's see, where was I?" * * * * * Akane jumped out of her chair and ran to Ranma's side, trying to keep him from going into the Nekoken. "Ranma, calm down. There's no cat here!" Ranma shook his head in terror. "Yes, there is... I don't know where, but I KNOW there's a cat, here... and it isn't Shampoo. Shampoo doesn't have a cat's aura, but something WITH a cat's aura is here..." "Um, excuse me," Nuku Nuku said, walking up to Ranma and Akane. Ranma cringed, feeling the presence draw near. "Why is he so scared of cats?" "Um," Akane began. "I don't............ "It's cause he was hurt by cats when he was very small!" A small head poked its way out of Ranma's shirt. "'Ello!" ***** "Oh, what a cute mousey!" Beldandy giggles at the sight. ***** Akane and the rest of the girls stared at the talking mouse that poked it's head out of Ranma's shirt before giving their response. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK! MOUSE!" "Whoa! Wait! Lemme explain!" The mouse leapt away just as the mallet slammed into the spot he was occupying, incidentally knocking Ranma back down. "You violent maniacs!" The mouse scampered around as the girls tried to stomp on him while screaming their heads off. Nearby, NukuNuku began to twitch as she watched the mouse jump into Sayuri's dress and began to wiggle around in it, tickling her in the process. The cute little rodent poked its head out from between Sayuri's bosom. "Keep back! I've got a bra and I know how to use it!" Almost everyone froze as they processed the threat. Well, except for NukuNuku who leaps and lands on Sayuri's chest in an attempt to catch the mouse. The mouse slips down and out of Sayuri's skirt trailing a bra and panties. It ditches them and starts to run for one of the other girls. This repeated itself again and again with the mouse hiding in the girls' clothes and NukuNuku leaping on them thereby scaring away the mouse who steals the girl's underwear. Pretty soon, the only girls in the room were NukuNuku Ukyo and Akane. The Okonomiyaki chef was wielding her spatula like fly swatter ready to knock the mouse into the sunset while Akane was hiding behind Ranma. NukuNuku had the mouse cornered as she stalked her prey. Strangely enough, the mouse goes into a martial stance, kempo to be exact. "If you don't back off, yer gonna regret it!" NukuNuku was about to pounce when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to find Akane and Ranma staring at the mouse. "What the heck are you?" The mouse puffed up his chest and placed his forepaws on his hips. "I'm Chaka, mascot of the Anything-Goes School of martial arts!" -------------------------------- Sailor Moon: [poses] I am Sailor Moon! Beldandy: Huh? Sailor Moon: [spins] Champion of Justice! Urd: Er? -------------------------------- [Meanwhile, elsewhere] Asayogure: This is really poor dialogue here... Dagmar-chan: Gimme a break! I've never seen "Oh, my Goddess". Asayogure: Yay! Bad dialogue! Dagmar-chan: [face-faults] Asayogure: And now a poorly executed SI!! Dagmar-chan: [lifting self from floor] Well, on with the fic then? -------------------------------- [Back to the action...] Sailor Moon: [poses again] You have used this innocent fic to your own ends, and manipulated the characters from something of joy to something of evil. Belldandy: I shall smite thee? Kuno: Be silent, wench! Thou hast taken the very words from my mouth. Sailor Moon: [spins into yet another pose] So in the name of the Moon.... Sailor Jupiter: [eyeing Kuno] He looks just like my old boyfriend. Sailor Moon: [begins complex hand gesture] I fight for love, and against evil... Urd: [Pulling out a deck of cards] Gin rummy anyone? Beldandy: [turning chair backwards and rolling up sleeves] Alrighty! Sailor Moon: [gets hands mixed up hopelessly, but continues anyway] And that means you! Sailor Jupiter: Count me in! Sailor Moon: Guys! Aren't you supposed to be fighting here? Sailor Mercury: Well, I would help you out Sailor Moon, but frankly my Mercury bubble don't work worth a darn. I mean, fog? What am I supposed to do with fog? I'll play too. Sailor Venus: I'm up for a game. Kuno: [glomping Sailor Mars] Date with me! Sailor Mars: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaars... [other Senshi dive under table along with Urd and Beldandy] Sailor Mars: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiire... Kuno: Oh, Akane Tendo! Pig-tailed girl! Fiery goddess! How shall I choose? Sailor Mars: Ignite!! Kuno: I must have them- Aaaaack! -------------------------------- [Meanwhile, elsewhere again] Dagmar-chan: This really isn't going anywhere... Asayogure: Wait a minute. How are we talking? Dagmar-chan: And I can't believe I stooped to an SI! How low can I get? Asayogure: Wasn't I in my kitchen a minute ago? Dagmar-chan: No, you're in my dorm room now, I suppose. I am the one writing now. Asayogure: [grinning] And you don't think I'm stalking you? Dagmar-chan: Ack! I hadn't thought of _that_! Asayogure: Nice room by the way. Love all the anime. Dagmar-chan: Yeah, drives my roommate crazy. Hey! Stop distracting me from having a nervous break down!! Asayogure: [shrugging] Well, you're even writing me OOC, so I suppose I need to get all the revenge I can. Dagmar-chan: Oh, really? Well, I think some arrangements can be made... -------------------------------- [Back amid the chaos] Urd: I win! Beldandy: Again?! Sailor Moon: [Waving Moon Scepter for the umpteenth time] Almost finished, and then you'll get it! Sailor Mars: Why do we put up with her? Luna: Because she's the Moon Princess, of course. Sailor Mars: Oh yeah. Urd and Beldandy: [looking at Luna] Cat! OUR FIC! [They dive back to their computer] Sailor Jupiter: Well, I can deal then, if they don't want to play. [Sailor Moon continues to wave and spin her exceptionally tacky wand] -------------------------------- [Elsewhere just once more, I promise] Dagmar-chan: Well, I do need some more RAM for my computer. I mean 96 MB is getting a little tight... Asayogure: Okay! [Pulls out credit card] I'll just go to that phone over there... [phone magically appears by some author contrivance] Dagmar-chan: I like being the temporary author here. Asayogure: And call up Happosai to come take a look at it! Happosai: [running in for no apparent reason, since Asayogure hasn't made any phone calls yet] What a haul! What a haul! Dagmar-chan: Nooooooooooooooo!! [Screams to the uncaring sky] Dagmar-chan: Just a sec. How can this happen to me? I'm writing this after all. Asayogure: Well, actually, this is your conscience making you write it fairly. Dagmar-chan: Noooooooooooooooo!! [falls to knees in horror] Dagmar-chan: How could I do that to myself?! [Suddenly a large portion of the wall falls inward onto the angsting author] Sailor Jupiter: I think the little pervert went this way! Sailor Mars: Mars fire ignite! Sailor Venus: Venus crescent-v smash! Sailor Mercury: Why do I even try? [half-heatedly] Mercury bubbles blast... Sailor Moon: [from off in the distance] Moon healing activation! Hey, wait for me!! Dagmar-chan: [Waking up] Oh, so it was all a dream! [looks at anime collection] But you were there. And you were there. And you were there... -------------------------------- Urd: Well, now that that is over maybe we can get some work done on this story. Belldandy: And maybe the next person won't write us so badly... [both shudder] Urd: I don't think that is possible, my dear Belldandy. Belldandy: I certainly hope so. [ominous music begins to play in the back ground] [klick-klick-klick-klick] [Belldandy notices Urd stabbing repeatedly at one key] Belldandy: [walking up to the computer and looking over Urd's shoulder] Oh dear, what's the matter? Urd: [still pressing the key determinedly] the @$%&$#! thing won't work! [starts to glow a dark shade of red] Belldandy: Oh my! Perhaps it froze? [Bites lower lip and looks worried]. Urd: [Finger is moving so fast that all that can be seen is a blur] It was _just_ getting good [red glow intensifies] Belldandy: Maybe Skuld can help? [smiles and walks gracefully out of the room to go find Skuld] Urd: [doesn't notice that Belldandy has left the room] I was the sys-op for the Ygdrasil system! I can fix this! [raises clenched in determination, and pushes her sleeves up, then reaches into her purse and pulls something out] Belldandy: [walks back into the room smiling] Skulds coming, I'm sure that she'll have it fixed in no time. [notices Urd typing again]. You fixed it? That's wonderful!! [smiles even more broadly and pats Urd on the back]. I didn't think that you knew much about human computers! Urd: Heh [chuckles, and flicks her long silky blond hair out of her eyes], I don't. I switched platforms, this is the new Ygdrasil '99! Belldandy: Ygdrasil 99? [cocks head, and looks at the computer screen curiously.] But isn't that- Skuld: [walks into the room lugging a huge computer manual, a tool kit, and a box full of random circuits, wires, circuit boards, and other unidentifiable computer components] This might take a while, but by the time I finish it'll [looks at the computer screen and drops her box. It breaks open and circuit boards and wires go flying everywhere] You stole my Ygdrasil 99 CD!!! How could you?!?[wails and lunges at Urd]. Urd: Calm down you little brat, oof [grunts as Skuld tackles her, knocking over the chair she's sitting in and sending both of them crashing to the floor]. JEEZ, I just [grabs Skuld's hair and tries to pull her off of her] borrowed [winces as Skuld digs her knee into her stomach] it. Skuld: THIEF!!! [picks up some of the scattered circuit boards and starts throwing them at Urd]. You STOLE it!!! How could my own sister [stops throwing stuff for a moment, and strikes a tragic pose, eyes big, and voice trembling] my own sister [tears well up in her eyes, and then start streaming down her cheeks], a goddess, [voice catches] steal something!!! [voice rises a couple octaves and she starts throwing things even more rapidly] Urd: I told you I just BORROWED it. [ducks flying circuit boards] How dare you treat your older sister with so little respect!! [raises arm and strikes a pose] I'll teach y-OW [yelps as a circuit board strikes her sharp corner-first in the face]. Urd's [starts muttering some arcane sounding chant which comes out strangely muffled because she's clutching her nose with both hands] Skuld: HOW COULD YOU?!? [glass shatters in the distance and tears continue to run down Skuld's face] MY OWN SISTER!!![reaches into sleeves and pulls out two metal, spiracle shaped objects with colorful, cylindrical plastic protrusions] SKUUUUUULDBOMBAWAAAAAAAAAY!!! [throws the two bombs with as much force as she can at Urd]. Urd: [finishes chant and points one slim, long-nailed finger at Skuld just as Skuld throws the bombs] LIGHTNING ATTAAAAAACK!!!!! [A huge burst of light, energy, and sound rocks through the room, followed by a dark cloud of smoke which slowly dissipates revealing the blackened figures of Skuld and Urd, barely standing, but still facing each other, battle auras glowing] Belldandy: Umm [Waves an alabaster-colored hand at Skuld and Urd to get their attention]. Should the computer be [points the other hand at the computer which is making odd noises and vibrating slightly] doing that? [Urd and Skuld turn to look at the computer] Skuld: [tries to speak, but only a dry whisper-cough comes out]. Urd: [turns to face Skuld] What's your CD doing to Asayogure's computer? [Looks back at the computer, looks at Skulk, then looks at the computer again.] Have fun [Turns around and starts walking towards the nearest exit] fixing the computer Skuld! [sings out the last few words as she waves at Skuld and makes a dash for the door]. Skuld: [in a flat voice] She installed YGDRASIL-based software on a human computer? Belldandy: [looks worried] But haven't you done that before Skuld? [The computer vibrates even faster, and appears to be smoking a bit, although with all of the smoke from Skuld's and Urd's previous argument still floating around, it's difficult to tell] Urd: [reaches for the door handle, but it starts to turn before her hand touches it] Skuld: Not with the newer stuff, it's not compatible with human technology, it overrides it. Belldandy: But wouldn't that mean- [The door opens and Urd jumps back as Asayogure runs out, still clutching a soda can] Asayogure: I heard an explosion! What happe- [voice drifts off as he takes in the scene] Skuld: [nodding at Belldandy] Uh-huh, it's now a- [the computer stops vibrating abruptly and a strange flash lights up the room] Skuld: -fully functioning Ygdrasil. Belldandy: Oh what an adorable bunny!!! [bends down and scoops up a bunny that had jumped out from underneath the computer desk] Urd: YEEK!!! There's something stuck to my chest!!! [beats at a wizened, bald, flesh-colored lump that has attached itself to her chest] [Meanwhile, things are still materializing and a soft glow still permeates the room] Belldandy: Ooooh, there's a cute mousy too! [reaches down to pick up Chaka who leaps eagerly into her outstretched hand] Kunou: [kneels in front of Belldandy] Oh fair goddess- Belldandy: [blushes, and looks sideways at Kunou] Urd: [starts chanting again] Skuld: [disappears behind the computer] Asayogure: [Squints at five thin silhouettes that seem strangely familiar. Gradually his eyes recover from the flash of light, and his jaw drops] Sailor Moon: [stepping towards Asayogure, arms outstretched] Tuxedo Mask!!!!! [glomps onto Asayogure] Asayogure: [Stands with a dazed expression on his face with Sailor Moon clutching him tightly, soda can still gripped in his hand, and ashes from the explosion still drifting gently to the floor] [Suddenly everything wavers, and the Sailor scouts, various animals, and other characters disappear] Skuld: [crawls out from underneath the computer, holding the end of the computer's power cord] [The room is entirely quiet, and the last of the ashes fall soundlessly to the floor.] --- Asayogure: Well, that was . . . unexpected. Serves me right I guess, for leaving you lunatics alone in my room with my system. [glances at Skuld wearily] Asayogure: Can you fix it? Skuld: Can I fix it? Can I fix it?! Foolish mortal, of course I can fix it! I AM a goddess after all. [sticking her tongue out Skuld proceeds to crawl under the desk, audible computer fixing noises soon ensue] [Asayogure sighs and sits down heavily on his bed to drink his soda and watch. Belldandy with a sincere worried expression on her face sits down next to him and pats his knee.] Belldandy: It will be all right. Have faith and you will see. . . all is not lost. I have great faith in Skuld, despite her rough exterior she is a true and noble goddess and she will persevere until . . . Asayogure: Bell, Bell, Bell . . . you're giving me a headache. Calm down will ya? I'll be fine. It's not like I don't have my data backed up. [holds head in hands] Asayogure: I just gotta figure out what to do next, this story needs some spice. {Kuno appears and kneels in front of Belldandy, kissing the hem of her dress, then holding the material gently between both his thumbs and forefingers in a display of subservience. He is dressed in traditional ancient Samurai armor and is brandishing the standard double swords.} Kuno: Fair Goddess I pledge to thee my services and my honor and my life. So do I swear on the honor of my ancestors! [Kuno then bows his head and holds his tanto blade hilt first to the Goddess. As tradition governs, his life is now hers. She may at this point kill him with the blade, mark him with the blade by cutting his arm to show his allegiance, or she may give it back to him. . . but this is Belldandy we are talking about here. Holding the Tanto by the end with her thumb and forefinger and a distasteful grimace on her face Belldandy looks desperately around the room for help. She is not used to the silly traditions of mortals. She isn't that kind of goddess after all.] [Asayogure, head still in hands] Asayogure whispers: Tell him to arise with honor, that you accept his offer, and then give him back his toy. Belldandy: Um, arise good sir . . . w-with honor. [Kuno rises with head bowed] [Belldandy looks pleadingly at Asayogure, he mouths "here is your weapon, I return your life to you."] Belldandy: Here is your weapon, I return your life to you. [Kuno looks into her eyes with tears in his.] Kuno: Fair goddess! I will not fail thee! [Kuno moves to embrace her, then remembers his station and settles for bowing as elaborately as he knows how.] Chaka: ALL RIGHT! LET'S PARTY!!!! [Chaka appearing out of nowhere begins to dance a merry jig atop Kuno's head.] Kuno: Vile beast! Vacate the noble head of the great Tatewaki Kuno, or I shall smite thee! Belldandy: Oh my, this is awfully . . . silly, isn't it. [Asayogure still head in hands] Asayogure: You have no idea. [Suddenly the computer fires into life] Skuld: I . . . am soooo good! Now, can we eat please? Belldandy: Oh dear, how much time has passed since we started this little adventure? What day is this? {Urd pops out of wall} Urd: Thanksgiving of course. And I have all kinds of things to be thankful for so lets get to the table and a start a eatin shall we?! I took the liberty of gathering a few friends. [Urd leads the way through interdimentional space and the group ends up in front of a pair of ornamental oak double doors. With an extravagant flourish Urd pushes the doors open into a scene of pure. . . insanity] Asayogure: Oh my word. . . Belldandy: You didn't . . . Skuld: COOL! [It was a war zone, all kinds of Anime characters from all walks of life were doing battle in the dining room. If one looked closely enough one could almost make out the remains of what must have been a huge thanksgiving feast, which was now scattered about the floor] Ash Catchum: Pikachu, I CHOOSE YOU! [Ash shouts to an adorable little yellow rodent, standing on two feet and chirping happily away to itself, then jumping up on Ash's shoulders and bouncing all around his head, only to jump back down to the ground and repeat the routine over again . . .] Pikachu: pika, pika-PI! pi pi pi pi pi, pi-cA-chuuuu, pika pi! pika pika pikachuuuuu, pika pika pika pika, pika-PI! pi pi pi pi pi, pi-cA-chuuuu, pika pi! pika pika pikachuuuuu, pika pika pika pika, pika-PI! pi pi pi pi pi, pi-cA-chuuuu, pika pi! pika pika pikachuuuuu, pika pika pika pika, pika-PI! pi pi pi pi pi, pi-cA- chuuuu, pika pi! pika pika pikachuuuuu, pika pika pika [Ash sweatdrops] Ash: Um, Pikachu? [Pikachu pokes it's head over Ash's hat brim from it's current perch on his head to peek at him] Pikachu: pikaaa? Ash: I meant attack, now, Pikachu . . . [Pikachu gets that determined pokémon look on it's face, hops off of Ash's head and bunches up it's little hands into fists . . .] Pikachu: Pi-KA---CHUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! [An abnormally huge ball of electricity rockets from the electric mouse, and incinerates some sort of, giant robot? The EVA unit, now a charred and fused mass, creaks and falls over. The pilot hops out and dashes for cover, lucky for him, Pikachu had only been told to attack the robot.] Belldandy: What in the hell . . . [everyone pivots violently to stare at Bell, she NEVER swore . . ] Bell trying to look innocent: What? Skuld grabbing Urd's arm and pulling her down hard: You brought, EVA units too!?! Urd: Um, yup. Skuld under her breath: Idiot. [Mano Yohko charges by wielding her soul sword] Mano Yohko: I hold no enmity against those coerced into evil . . . But to those vile beings who toy with the hearts and souls of men . . . We since the time of ancient gods, have been your destroyers, now, the 108th generation Devil Hunter, Yohko, is here! Beware! . . . And that means you! DIE YOU EVIL THING! Happosai tears into the scene: Whoo hoo hoo! I got yer panties! [Happosai hops onto Urd's head and then leaps off, behind the group, trailing a pair of panties in his fist held over his head and a wide grin] In a dark corner of the world, a figure wrapped in a black cloak stood over seven balls and said, "Eternal Dragon, come forth." With that the sky darkened and lightning flashed, and struck the ground between the balls, and Shen Long the Eternal Dragon appeared in the sky. "Tell me your wish, so that I may grant it." The man look up at Shen Long and said, "Restore to me the one Death has taken." "Your wish has been granted, Travel to the place you last were together.", and with that Shen Long disappeared and the Dragon Balls rose into the sky and scattered across the world. The cloaked figure then turned and walked into the darkness surrounding him. "The gods can never make things easy for ones such as me." {Andrew walks in, shakes head.} Andrew: WHY did you do this? This is more insane than the time I tried to have Ranma, Akane, and a few others move into my DORM room, Asayogure! WHY, for the love of Goddess, WHY? Before Andrew could continue the rant... Urd: Love of Goddess? You've come to the right place, child...Andrew backs away making warding signs... Urd ignores them, and offers a potion to him... Upon seeing this, he flees, scared for his life... he's heard about Urd and Potions... Instantly a black haired six year old entered the room. Realizing that no one noticed him, he decided to follow orders and set to work on a, uh.... rather interesting plan. Asayogure sighed and sat down, the place was a mess and everyone seemed to either be fighting- [Kuno is kneeling in front of Belldandy, Happosai is chasing after anything female, and Sailor Moon is still clutching him]- or doing strange things. He sighed and watched the whole seen. Andrew's face was turning purple and Urd was still offering potions Urd: Hm, maybe that wasn't the right one, [picks up another vial] here try this one [assuming the many hand motions Andrew was making Urd took it that he liked the idea and stuck the potion in his mouth] there ya go- oops wrong one again I guess. Don't worry I have plenty more. Happosai: Akane! Akane! Akane! Akane! [not caring that none of the people he was grabbing were Akane, he continued molesting women and shouting Akane!] Aka- ung Ranma: You little pervert- augh [Ranma was instantly splashed with cold water] THAT'S COLD AUUUUUUUUUUUGH! Get offa me. Vegita: ha ha ha ha I am now more powerful then you Goku! Take this [on the last word Vegita threw a punch beginning a long fight] Gohan: Daddy! Come on Daddy get him! Sailor Moon: Tuxedo Mask [opening her eyes she found that the man she had been clutching so hard was not her beloved Tuxedo Mask] Augh, what did you do to my Tuxedo mask? Answer me! Are you from the Nega- (Moon, Verse, planet, etc. take your pick) Asayogure: Ngh [clutches his head harder wondering when it will all stop] The ominous six year old boy: Ha ha ha, I'm almost done [he is now radiating energy and is still, not noticed, a few veins pop on his head] NOTICE ME PEOPLE!! [realizing he put some energy into that he is a little astonished to see everyone looking or glaring at him as the case may be] Uh er ahem, yes now that I have your attention...[strikes a pose] I am the servant of the dreaded Master- A mouse poked its head out of the remains of the table spread. "Ah! What a feast! Urd-Sama sure throws a good party." "Pinky, my good man, look!" A white lab mouse with a huge head pointed at Chaka as he munched on a slab of cheese. "Another genetically altered rodent! We are not alone. Pinky?" At the moment, Pinky was also taking advantage of the remains before him to stuff his face thus ignoring his partner. Brain bopped him one on the noggin' for ignoring him. "I said look at the genetically altered rodent, Pinky! Maybe we can convince him to help us take over the world!" Before Brain could say anymore, Chaka's head swiveled as he spotted Andrew walk by with the NICELY dressed Urd in tow. "Hotcha!" Brain watched as Chaka flew up the goddess' mini-skirt and began make himself at home in there. Much to the goddess' ire. "Or maybe not." "Notice me!! Or I'm gonna get really mad!" The six year old child threw his hands up in the air in frustration as everyone continued their chaotic ramblings. The child expanded to a height of fifty feet. Not a good idea in a room with eight an foot ceiling. "Dam-" He shrunk down to a more sensible seven and a half feet. "Now watch out because I'm really angry now!" The rest of the room gave him his desired attention only to spoil it with a myriad of giggles. "Oh, you thought I was ticked off before! Well-" Phibrizo fished around in his back pocket and pulled out one very angry Lina Inverse. "I need you to blow up the world now." Everyone just stared. "What? Pocket Lina Inverse. Never leave home without it!" Hellmaster grinned beguilingly. "Now about that Giga Slave..." The rest of the room face faulted. DRAGONSLAAAAAAAAAVE!!!!!!!!!!!! [dead silence] [small little firework-type explosions go off everywhere] Sailormoon: prettyyyyyyyy [eyes get big and shiny, but she doesn't let up her death hold on Asayogure] Phibrizo: What was that?!? Lina: [looks nonchalant] What did you expect for five gold pieces? Urd: [is tossing lightning bolts right and left at every small, furry animal in sight] Xelloss: [notices a book sitting on the desk] Bible? Zelgadis: [does a 180] where? [lunges at Xelloss] Xelloss: [neatly sidesteps Zelgadis, opens the book, and begins reading] Oh my, how interesting. Zelgadis: [continues to lunge for Xelloss who somehow manages to remain one step out of reach] Amber: HEY!!! I need that for Institute, quit playing around [joins Zelgadis in lunging for the book] Xelloss: Oh it's yours? Here [hands Amber the book] Zelgadis: [Turns on Amber, sword raised in the right hand and the left hand starting to glow from a fire spell] Give me the Clair Bible. Amber: But, but. . . Ash: Pikachu!!! [cradles an unidentifiable blackened object] Pikachuuuuuuu!! [points accusingly at Urd] You, you [sniff] killed my Pikachu [sobs]. Amber: [clutches the bible tightly] It's just a normal St. James bible, it's not a Zelgadis: [ignores her] Surrender the bible or perish!!! Sailor Moon: [remembers that Asayogure isn't Tuxedo Mask after all] What have you done to Tuxedo mask [tearfully] give him baaaaaaaack!!!!!!! Asayogure: [looks very dazed] Skuld: [is happily disassembling one of the EVA units] Shinji: Umm, could you please. . . not do that. Ranma (back in boy form): [taps Asayogure on the shoulder] about that last chapter. Sailor Moon: [notices Ranma] Tuxedo Mask? Mousse: [glomps onto Sailor Moon] Shampoo!!! My darling Shampoo!!! Kuno: How dare you approach a Goddess in such a familiar manner!! [points sword at Keiichi] Death is too kind a punishment for your insolence!!! [lunges at Keiichi] Belldandy: Keiichi-san!!!! Amber: [shoves the bible in Zelgadis' face] it's NOT a Clair Bible. Zelgadis: [grabs the bible and flips through] what is this? Amber: [sees Ranma and Asayogure] Oh!! You came to my Christmas party!!! Have some cookies! They're chocolate pixies, I made them myself. Ranma: [eyes cookies] Umm, no thanks. Asayogure: I thought we were in my room. Amber: No, it switches with each writer. Urd: YES!!!!!!!! I finally killed the thing. [towers over a blackened Chaka laughing insanely] "Paaannntttiiieeesss..." Chaka twitches as his body began to wriggle towards the nearest sexy young female. Unfortunately for Urd who was too worked up to notice that her prey was still alive, she was the closest victim. "Sweeto!" Chaka glomps Urd for a recharge and rejuvenation, definitely giving Urd the scare of her immortal life. "Aaargh!" Dalis: [sitting down in her warm bed while drinking hot chocolate.] This is great nothing but silence. I am happy. [everyone who was previously in Amber's room is transported into Dalis's which is much smaller. Dalis chokes on hot chocolate] uh... Amber: [is underneath Urd, and on top of an unconscious Kuno] Dalis...um hello ^_^ Kuno: My beloved Goddess... [stirs slightly] Amber: Ack [squeezes out of the pile and joins Dalis on the bed.] kinda crowded huh? Everyone entangles themselves and stands up... or at least tries too. Ranma: quit shovin [realizes he's near an ultimately peeved Lina, turns around] move move move, get me outta here Akane: NO! my rice cakes. I just made em. Asayogure: no big loss Akane: I heard that!: Sailor Moon: [catches sight of Ranma] Tuxedo Mask! [lunges and hits Lina] Lina: [was powering up on a dragon slave but the spell was interrupted] NOO! Do you realize what you've done? Usagi: eh? AUUUUUUUGH [shrieks as many smurfs of different color appear out of nowhere] wha... wha... wha... Ash: Pikachu? [picks up a yellow smurf] nope. [tosses it aside] Pikachu? [picks up another yellow smurf] nope. {tosses it aside. Repeats this process over and over again] Kuno: Oh my beautiful Goddess's [just woke up and jumps on Lina and Sailor Moon] Sailor Moon and Lina: ACK!! Zelgadis: A-ha the Claire Bible [spots Dalis scriptures upon a chair. Lunges for it and kicks Vegita in the face] Vegita: OW! [turns around] you will die [aims Ki at Zel misses and hits Happosai] Happosai: Ung [falls down prevented from molesting another innocent women] Akane: eh? [turns around to see Happosai hit by a Ki attack while trying to secretly touch her] serves you right. [tries to kick Happosai but misses and falls on Tuxedo Mask] Tuxedo Mask: I am sorry my lady, but my heart belongs to another please get off of me. Akane: I wasn't trying to get on you [brings out magic mallet. Many people cheer. Smashes Tuxedo mask on the head. People cheer even louder.] Belldandy: Excuse me [climbs on bed next to Dalis] Dalis: [still speechless] uh.... Amber: Hello ^_^ it's more comfortable up here isn't it? Belldandy: yes indeed ^_^ *Crack* Dalis: [looks down to the now broken CD player by Goku's feet. Suddenly she can speak again-] why you... little... you.... how could.... why... [only to realize she can't very well] Amber: MY CD WAS IN THERE! [hovers over Goku] DIE!!! Gohan: um daddy? you Ok? Pinky: gee Brain, have we conquered the world yet? Brain: Pinky, say one more word and I'll hurt you. [a group of white smurfs are shoved near them and Pink and Brain are separated.] Pinky: Brain! Which one is you? Phibrizo: [fishes around in pocket.] Where are those "Magic Knight 3 in a pack!" set? Urd: NOO! TOO MANY! [was nearly done getting every animal, till the millions of smurfs appeared] Skuld: Nearly done [is shoved into the Eva units breaking a few] oops! Shenji: Now look what you've done! Andrew: [coughing on the floor] as my dying words come out I pray that no one falls victim to Urd's potions. [dramatically coughs, stops, chokes, and falls down] Asayogure: Andrew? OH NO! Andrew: [snores loudly] Asayogure: [grabs a pillow of the bed and throws it at Andrew] BAKA! Phibrizo: Found it! [Fuu, Hikaru, and Umi appear] Fuu: Gee Umi, I don't think we're in Cephiro anymore. Umi: OF COURSE WE AREN'T!! Hikaru: Kawaii! [sights Dalis's stuffed Panther] May I hold it? Dalis: Yup, this is Gwynn Hikaru: Gwynn? He or a she? [Hikaru didn't realize it till she held the panther that it was fake] Dalis: both Hikaru: eh? Ranma: another one? Dalis: No, not like that. This panther is possessed by two spirits. Brother and sister. Amber: here she goes again [spots Fuu and starts a pleasant talk with her] Dalis: A thousand years ago in a completely different realm.... Hikaru: Cefiro? Dalis: No. [continues story] There lived a brother and a sister. Gwynta, the brother and Gwynhyvar the sister.... [Belldandy and Gohan listen to the story.] Dalis: ...they were living normal village lives. But all of a sudden their country went to war and they fought in the battle. Skuld: Who's they? [had just started listening] Dalis: Gwynhyvar and Gwynta Skuld: Who are they? Dalis: Shut up and listen. Anyway, the war was edging close to their home so they decided to bring peace throughout the land.... Skuld: Is this true? Dalis: Shut up [bonks him on the head.] However, they were betrayed at the last minute, and an evil sorcerer... Lina: [suddenly appears] Who was it? I might know him? Dalis: No one be quiet Lina: what did you say to me? Dalis: oops. [five minutes later Dalis is massaging Lina's shoulders and finishes the story] ...an evil sorcerer tries to send Gwynhyvar to a realm of pain and suffering, but her brother gets in the way and they are sent to this realm. In the body of this panther [Dalis finished massaging and holds up the panther] Skuld: [claps] Hikaru: WOW! Ranma: yeah right. Dalis: It's true. Ranma: Heh if you think I'm gonna believe that... Dalis: Why you [tries to hit him on the head, misses and hit's Skuld] Skuld: Hey [backs up into Lina] oops Lina: [is shoved into the wall. Turns around] Who did it? [no one admits and Lina prepares to blast them away] Fuu: really? you're in college? Amber: yes, Rice University Fuu: I hear thats a very good one. Amber: It is, I'm happy to be in it Fuu: congratulations Amber: Thanks, which High School are you getting into? [The two keep on talking undisturbed by the fight around them] Asayogure: Someone help! [is backed into the corner by purple smurfs] Smurfs: we are cute! Try our smurf berries. You are Smurfy! Asayogure: SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!! six year old boy: NOTICE ME PEOPLE NOTICE ME!!! Dagmar-chan: Hello? What is going on? Am I interrupting the yearly Asylum Christmas Party? Can I come in? Asayogure: Oh great, and just when I was about to get Christmas cookies. Dagmar-chan: [dodging thrown King James Version Bible] Um, well, you were the one who passed the round robin on. You can't precisely blame me, now can you. Asayogure: Yes, I can. I am being written by Queen OOC/Self-insert again, so my action have no basis in reality what-so ever. Dagmar-chan: Great. Foiled by my own bad writing. Sailor Mercury: [drowning sorrows in Eggnog] Now if I had learned my Aqua Illusion yet, then my attacks would be worthwhile, but no, she has to write my in as season two. Sailor Jupiter: Come on. Mercury Bubbles are perfectly acceptable as an attack. I mean you can use them to, well, um... Sailor Mercury: Yes? Sailor Venus: You can make fog! And you can, uh, make fog! That's really important to the Sailor Scouts in case we ever need to do detective work or something. You know, "It was a dark and foggy night" and all. Sailor Mercury: It was "a dark and _stormy_ night" not foggy. [bangs head against table] I just can't take this any more. Sailor Moon: I love you, Tuxedo Mask. How can you be running off with Alan? He's just a doomtree child. Tuxedo Mask: Well, you voice sets my teeth on edge, and these speeches are so sugary they're giving those same teeth cavities. Besides, Alan is just so spiffy! Sailor Moon: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Sailor Mercury: [Hits head against table] And there _she_ goes. If only I had a _good_ attack. Dagmar-chan: Now look at all this chaos that I have spawned. Asayogure: You spawned? Aren't we a little egocentric? Dagmar-chan: [flashing a smile] But of course! Although, I don't really want the credit/blame for all this. It might not look so good on my record. Asayogure: Too late! Hah! You've been writing now for fifteen minutes, which puts said blame quite securely on you shoulders. Muahahahahahaha!! Dagmar-chan: And you thought _I_ was egocentric? That sounds distinctly like the laugh of a person planning on taking over the world. Sailor Mercury: Taking over the world? That sounds like Sailor Scout business! [waves hands] Mercury Bubbles!! Dagmar-chan: [laughing] Serves you right. Asayogure: I was [snickers] Mercury Bubbled. And, oh, look fog. All over your room. Dagmar-chan: Drat! How am I going to clean this up? Sailor Mercury: I hate my life. Sailor Moon: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Sailor Mars: [plugging ears and sitting down by Mercury] I know what you mean. Hand me some of that eggnog. The story gets passed over to Desaix (who hid from it the last time it came his way) and so suddenly everyone is in his room. His 12' X 16' X 8' room. "Ouch," everyone said as they were suddenly crushed together. "*cough*" Desaix coughed. "Um, will all of you just go HOME?! There's not enough room for you all here! Especially not the dead ones." Grumbling, the deceased Eva Unit 01, Pikachu, [semi- deceased]Chaka, and other former rodents left. "Okay, that's a little better. Now, can someone please at least move the rest of the Eva units outside of the building? I think Eva Unit 2 is standing on my toe..." With that, the cast of Evangeline decided to leave as well, taking the Eva Units with them. "Now, Sailor Moon, quit glomping people and calling them Tuxedo Mask. Tuxedo Mask isn't here, okay? At least I don't think he is now." "Oh, okay." "Hey, wait a minute," the six year old who had been trying to get everyone's attention said. "Why are you all listening to him but you wouldn't listen to me?" "Because I'm writing them that way," Desaix said. The six year old "Humphed" and went home, tired of everyone ignoring him. "Now... okay, the insanity level seems to be toned down to the point where I can handle this," Desaix noted. "What should I do now?" "You mean you don't like insanity? Spoilsport!" Asayogure accused. Desaix coughed. "It isn't that I don't like insanity, it's that I don't like TOO MUCH insanity." "Oh, I'm sure you could have handled it. I have faith in you," Asayogure said. Desaix sighed. "Never mind. At any rate, what should I do, now?" "Um... I dunno. I mean, you've got only a couple minutes to go..." "You mean, I finally got the insanity down to a point I can deal with it, and I'm out of time?" "Afraid so." "Um... darn." The dark figure walks into the room. "I am looking for the one called Lina Inverse." "I am Lina, What do you want with me?" She answered. "I need you to cast a spell for me." "Which one, exactly?" "I need the Ragna Blade, it is the only spell that can open the dimensional barrier and allow me to complete my journey. I am willing to pay you for your time." "And what will you pay for my services, sir." "I will give you the location of the sword, Stormbringer. Surely that is payment enough." "Sure it is, I'll cast the right now." Just then, the wall blew in, and in the shattered remains, stood Vegeta in Super Saijyan mode. "I've finally found, Dark one, and now I will destroy you for what you have done." "I defeated you once Vegeta, I can do it again." With that the figure leap forward and attacked Vegeta. They both started going straight up into space, until all could be seen is a bright speck of light from Ki blasts exploding around them. Asayogure: All righty then, nuff of this. *With a flash and a poof all was gone, not creature did stir, not even a Chaka mouse ^_^* [Akane snapped the [paper bound book closed with an uneasy smile on her face.] Akane: That was, uh . . . gosh Ranma I can't even put words to it. You say you spent the last year writing it too? Ranma looking proud as a rooster: Yup! Akane: Well, I can honestly say I have never gotten a Christmas gift like this before. Thank you Ranma. [Akane takes Ranma into her arms and they just hold each other. All the other family members are too busy with their Christmas morning shenanigans to notice the two, and the young couple get to spend a precious moment in time just enjoying being together. With the fire roaring on the inside and the wind and snow swirling outside, the Christmas tunes playing softly and the warmth of one you love in your arms, things just don't get much better than that.] MERRY CHRISTMAS! This story was contributed to equally by: amber Arashihawk Asayogure asbaker77 dagmarchan desaix gulrey hpackrat mage2099